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The divorce process is usually very difficult and trying for anyone experiencing it. It is especially difficult if your divorce involves a child custody battle. These difficult times often cause a person to act or react irrationally and in ways that detrimentally affect his or her case. You should be aware prior to court proceedings that the court will evaluate your behavior in its entirety throughout the proceedings and always behave accordingly. Below are some of the factors judges consider when making a child custody determination along with the 10 most common mistakes made by men during custody battles.

All I care about is that my kids are safe. With all that being said, do I have any type of recourse that I can take to prevent him from being around my kids? I have a son trying to get full custody of his son.

His ex, had an affair and then walked out and moved in with her lover, 15 years her senior who was also married, and he left his spouse then they lived together both being married to another.

She filed for divorce after they were living together then he filed from his wife and they used the same attorney!

This was three years ago, they are still living together, not married. He has abused my grandson, and she lied about it in court and the judge would not believe a three year old. She is bipolar. She and my son have joint custody, an soon is will be time for my grandson to go to school, and the court has appointed a GAL, three months ago and has done nothing yet.

I am very frustrated. My son lives 90 miles from her and we are at our wits end as grandparents. She if she gets sole custody will never allow us to see our grandson again. We see him weekly now and it will not be fair to him nor us if we never get to see him again. We are goin threw the same here,i had my grandson up to 5 days a week,everytime i confront his mother about a awful bruise or bleeding diaper rash she threatn to come get him,i met my grandson when he was 3mnths old in small clothes and a bad rash,he was a baby made from a one nite stand,my son and mother are both young,22yrs oldi was excited and stepped in to help and it became where me and my son had baby everyday,up until a mnth ago she called police and said we kidnap him after we called her about a fading black eye,mind you all this occurs in the 2 days she has him- litem said in her report that we have everything baby needs,own room beautiful clean homes loving family,but the mothers home is oppisite with 10 dogs,she said they dont shed Chihuahuas and they do,he has no crib and stays in a bedroom all day with no space to learn to crawl or walk with a refridgerator in it,abusive step grandmother that does not agknowlede him ,filthy home ect.

My story is a messed up one. My soon to be ex-wife left me for another man and is trying to take my faughter out of my life. She did this about a week before Thanksgiving. This started on a Friday. When I got there, she called me and asked where I was at and I told her that I was out looking for her. She said that she was at home! Anyways thoughout that whole weekend, she was trying to gwt rid of me and take my daughter.

She told me that it was over between me and her and that she was with her new guy now. She told me that she was going to get a restraining order against me. Now I have a restraining order against me and I only get to see my daughter 5 hours a week. She and her lawyer made this agreement and it was supposed to only be for a month. My lawyer told me to agree to this because of the protective order that she was trying to get.

Now she keeps my daughter away from me as much as possible. I was visiting her at her school for lunch and she even tried to keep me from that! She wants her new man to be the father now. Do these lies stick or will the Judge know?!?! I have my daughter and her mother both on audio recording. He not supposed to be there from 8ampm. I have texted her am not supposed to be. She went in my car several times and in hers also.

Now the ex is saying I went over there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I am a father of a 4 year old, i am going through a divorce and custody battle.

I was not the best husband, i did not hit her, or abuse her in anyway, but i did have an affair. I was forced to move out by my wife and her family. She since has moved in her brother and mother who both use drugs around my child.

After months of arguing with her about this i refused to let my son return to the house. Now i am going through a custody battle that i am afraid i can not win because i do not have the money her family does. Someone please help, if you can not afford to donate please share. I can use any advice on what to do also. My husbands ex is trying to make it so that I cannot travel with him to pick up his son.

His ex and us meet halfway in between our houses she moved 5 hours away. I have never been mean, called her names, etc. Will the courts be able to stop me from driving with him to pick up his son? Is that against the law? I understand how that situation can go. And now you have to register if you are caught urinating in your own back yard.

My prayer for you is that everything is worked out in the best interest of the children. Definitely keep your nose clean.

Assume that your spouse is recording you in one form or another. I won full custody of both of my kids after 7 years of marriage. I suspected drug use or a mental illness. I started gathering evidence as soon as i thought she had a problem. Text messages, social media, voicemail was her downfall. She also did things in the house like tagging with spray paint and general lack of cleaning up after herself. Take lots of pictures. My spouse also showed complete lack of interest with the kids.

She was awarded supervised visitation twice a month but has not excercised one visit. It is her responsibility to call and arrange visitation.

Not yours. Use phone records as evidence too because your spouse will probably claim you do not allow her to talk. In my case this happened. Phone records has proven that she has made no attempt to call. It has been a really intense year. BTW, it can be expensive.

Dating someone going through custody battle

The mother refuses to let me see my child, whom l love dearly. They all live in a small 2 bedroom apartment. What are my chances of gaining custodyI want my son badly. I have a 6 bedroom homeoccupied by memy wife and 18 year old son Brooklyn, NY. Just starting out please contact me not sure if you finished in court yet.

Should I call dyfs? We are all screwed bud. The court system does not care. We care about our children, but the court system only cares about the best interest is to be with the mother.

Look out what they turn out to be. God help this country man. Not true. I won full of both of my children. I have a 7 and 8 year old. My spouse was mentally unstable and we were able to prove it. I was awarded full custody. I am currently dealing with an unstable ex girlfriend who is pregnant with my child. I have overwhelming evidence of her harassing me at work and chasing me in her car countless times. I filed a complaint at the county attorneys office. They sent her a cease and desist communications letter.

She pretended like she never got the letter and continued to harass me. Now she is being charged with two counts of stalking and harassment communications. She had been abusing me and anytime i tried to leave the house she would block my exit. If i tried to move her out of the way she would scream as if i was hurting her. She told the court that she was afraid of me but i had moved out of her house months before this as well as blocked her number. She has been all over Facebook calling me a deadbeat dad.

Is this enough to prove her mental state is not sound? Also I have text messages where she basically apologizes for threatening to shoot me in the head with her gun. There are some judges out there that care about the well being of a child. It may have taken 3 yrs for me, and 14 grand, but I did win custody of my son. Fathers have rights. We just have to fight for them. Only failure is when you give up. Stupidity is the job of the CPS worker, based on my minimum of 6 investigations they really seem to be sociopaths, so come up with something that their job may depend on.

I was recently subpoenaed by my ex, in a custody hearing, however I was not prepared with my lawyers, and he won, during this I was and am in the middle of my wedding, should I go on with my wedding,or cancel. They had two young children, and she moved out of their home with their two children, and in with this other man.

My son was nothing but a good husband and father, and did not deserve this. She does not work. She lived off of my son, and now she is living off of this other guy. My son has a good job and is a wonderful father an provider. She is a terrible role model for her two impressionable daughters, and does nothing to provide for them financially other than get public assistance. I believe he should attempt to get full custody of the girls. We his parents will be here to help him with childcare while he works, so he has a very strong support team.

Same here sir. My daughter is 4 years old. Her mother had two children through 2 different men and now this is her third child with the third man which is me. Only to know that my soon to be ex is currently sleeping with a guy in another state and took my child and ran away.

Because, she was going to take care of her two adult children. Her mom and dad are the same and they had multiple kids through multiple marriages, but the court system does not care.

I asked the same question where are the morals and values, and she is a poor role model for my child. I do not want my child to be turning out like her and her grand mother and I am fighting for her custody.

Do you think I am going to get it, NO way, the court wil decide and give it to her as it is the best interest that the child stay with the mother.

I am glad that you all are there to support your son. I do not have parents nor anybody to support me in my grief. A woman who gave a divorce when my mother was in critical state and she wanted a divorce and did not even care that my mother passed away and she was all up and busy running to jump in bed with another guy in another state. Now, the court does not even care to bring my daughter back as she removed the child from the state.

This is how the court systems are. Well, at age 50 she is now wanting to me to pay child support for another 15 years when I was thinking that I was going to save money for my retirement. I never wanted to have a child, and she coerced me to have a child and then now she wants child support and maintenance. This is how some woman are in this country. Do I really have any belief in this justice system, I don;t think so and I have lost it. Sounds very similar to my situation. Within a month my children were introduced to a new man and she has been trying to take advantage of me since.

I just wanted to do things civil. She has lied over and over again to put a better light on herself,but we know the truth. She and her family are horrible people. My son will be filling for divorce and full custody rights of his kids and We his family and friends will help him get through this. Now, I would suggest that he immediately go to the court and file for dissolution of marriage, legal separation or at least temporary custody and support.

Please remember the most important thing of all-no matter how angry you get, or how much you want to scream. Never bad mouth their mom in front of your son or the children-the reason being it creates a whole bunch of psychological blame stuff for your son, and your granddaughters are equal parts of them both and they will start to wonder if you also feel that way about them.

Also the mother had his kids in drug related situations for many many days and her parents knew about it and did nothing. Not til the mother in law found out and called dcf. Anything done to help the kids and the father was never notified and his kids are in care of the mothers parents. And the father has all his rights violated by the courts and by the state of Florida.

No one will tell him why his kids are not with him he had no criminal records no drug records. I have a question if dfs has taken your children and they want to give the grandparents rights to adopt what do I need to do to show myself so I can fight this battle.

consider, that

Be very carefuldo your researchbecausefamily court is a very dangerous place for people trying to escape a marriage based in power and control. From my experience the family court system was filled with misconduct, malpractice, etc. The real problems were never really addressed. God help us! I am going through this right now. I would love to speak to someone about their experience, maybe give me advice as to what direction I should take. Mine is very different n very painful n confused!!! My 20yr old Son was dating this girl who was pregnant by some other guy my son was there for her thur her pregnancy n even watch the child that wasnt his be born.

They lived together n began having problems n they would split up n shed go back n forth between her babys daddy n my son. N my son loved this girl very much n around June of she told my Son she wanted nothing to do with him n kicked him out of the place they both once lived in On July 2 My Son was shot n killed by police officers n i was left without my Son who had a older sister n younger brother n my X!!!

Hi, I am scouring the web to get ready, for going to court with my ex. From the moment I left him and took my soon it has been hell. While living with him he was and still is emotionally and mentally abusive to me and my son. Every thing that he did he projected on me saying I did them.

Like when our son had been out of the hospital he was in the NICU for a month as he was premature. This is only one example. And when I finally scrounged up the cur rage to leave him I have to go thouh this legal hell and get misrepresented my an awfull loweer who ends up siding with my ex!

He ended up with cutady. He sends me abusive and treating text messages harasses me on face book. This has to end I will not allow my son to be treated this way. My heart goes out to both mothers and fathers going this I hope the link I provied helps you.

The site has a that you can open, and print to give to the judge and attorneys to help them understand and what not to do when an abusive parent is involved. Like custody and making the other parent be around the abusive one. My ex got physical with me during a fight so I left, when I came back he had packed all of my stuff in garbage bags and shoe boxes.

What was the fight about? Our then 3. He started screaming and berating our child telling him that act ruined our day. He has since stopped working and is on disability for mental health. He let the mortgage on what was our family home go into foreclosure so he could move in with his buddy. Neither of them work, besides selling drugs. He brings our son to coke dealers houses and leaves him unattended in the basement so he can go outside to get high.

He threatens me and bullies me. He spanks our child hard enough to leave welts that last a week. If I were to do something I would be pegged as the nasty vindictive ex who took our child away from him. I feel this is a slam to men because it makes it seem as though just men do these things.

If it makes you feel any betterfamily court destroyed my family without that blink of an eye. I do not see family court malpractice being gender biased.

I am hopefully towards the end of a three year divorce. I have move to a different city, to get a new start. In or temporary order we both agreed to not have our son around a significant other. However I have become so tired of this game he is playing that I have let my son meet my significant other.

They get along great and he would never try to take the place of his dad. Is there anyway this could back fire on me? Your kids deep down know the truth. Keep doing what your doing! Not the case in Minnesota. I called the police and I have been removed from the house and stayed overnight at the hotel. Jim,I think you like the drama. I have been divorced for over 6 to 7 years my daughter is 9. I am remarried as of last August. My first and most important question is I took her back to court am I allowed to serve her the papers because she was yelling at me that it was no good because I served her the papers.

I am not trying to take my child away from her. I said that during the school year my daughter stay with me and she could still get her Friday ,Saturday and Sunday twice a month and in the Summer time go back to half and half. Now to the bad points my child has had head lice 8 times in two and half years and my ex will not do it properly so I have taken her for 18 days do the cleaning and then do the cleaning with the lotion days later just to make sure plus hours of nitting my daughter has very thick hair.

My daughter has missed 27 days last year and it close to that this year. Her mom does not make her go to school and I hold very important.

Dating a man going through custody battle - Find single man in the US with relations. Looking for romance in all the wrong places? Now, try the right place. Is the number one destination for online dating with more dates than any other dating or personals site. Rich woman looking for older woman & younger man. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Aug 15,   So when you're dating someone going through a divorce, you might have to shoulder more than your usual share of keeping things sane and cheerful. Now, one might wonder whether you should even bother dating a man going through a divorce (or a woman, for that matter). Isn't it going to be a risky and super-messy affair? Dating man going through custody battle. By Elaine, 7 years ago on Divorce. 12, K. Dating a man going through a divorce and custody battle. Dating a wonderful man but I have a daughter custody battle! not watched someone go through it. A month? A month passed in a .

She has to watch her younger brother and sister she tells me and that is why she is up so late. Another thing I can never get hold of her by phone it is either dead or she just turns it off. The school does not even call her anymore just me. I am wondering what is going to happen in court this time I am not trying to take my daughter away from her mother it is just not healthy over in that house. She had a child before I was with her and I had one daughter with her.

She had two more kids with my best friend that she cheated on against me but he passed away from Cancer which really sucks we had gotten over that. Now she is with a guy that has his own two boys 13 and So all together there are 6 kids in a 3 bedroom house and there are no bed times so I think it is just as well that she stay with me during school I am not asking for the money back that is what she said to me I did not even think about that. So any input on the first question is important and what do you think will happen in court this being the third time back.

It sounds like she has borderline personality disorder. Get a lawyer. Make it a request that she get evaluated by a mental health specialist that really understands the personality disorder. They are sometimes misdiagnosed or missed by otherwise good mental health professionals. Good luck and blessings to your child. They put everyone in the same basket and just make decisions based on their mood that day, instead of facts.

I feel sorry for the childrenand hope the system changes sooner rather than later, too many families have been destroyed because of incompetence. We live in California and before I meet her she was on the streets homeless with a guy who hit her. She told me that she was living with her sister at one time after her husband left her and the kid. While living there her sister gave her a curfew at 10 pm when she was 5 minutes late she told her the kid stays here and took back the house keys.

So when she came by to see her daughter she never answer the door are the phone. When she applied for homeless and the welfare told her to bring her kid and her sister did not let her get her own daughter and told her to not mess up her case. So when I got with her she took me to her moms house and while we where there she found child helper papers and papers for showing up to court and the 60 days where up cause her mom hid the papers and never told her nothing. But now it says she has to pay her sister child helper.

I thought that was beytween husband and wife only. So why is she getting welfare for her daughter and putting my girlfriend her sister threw hell and the all go to church. Is this even fare. It is a never ending cesspool waiting to destroy your family. It is us against them.

Does anyone know what I can file to get the order that was already made. I get her every other weekend and I pick her up through the week days to go to the YMCA or just spend time with her.

My Daughter tells me that mommy locks herself in her room with her strange boyfriend. Daughter has to text her mom in the same house to get her out. Also my Daughter has been left alone many times and it goes back several years. The Ex and my Daughter just recently was evicted from the place they have been living 10 years. And now is with her 5th boy friend which all of them look skinny and trashy looking. So what is my FN rights.

I pay the Ex very good for child support and she drives a Audi which she just recently purchased. Is there anything I can do? The State had NP getting child support!! I was put in a closed court room and I had 9 other people there to support me and observe and when they went to the door and turned the door knob it was locked and hit a button no one would answer them to buzz them in, so needless to say I was put through the ringer and my 4 year old was taken away from me with no evidence of any wrong doing.

I have call dozens of lawyers and no one will torch my case because they all know if they go up agents a judge there career is over. Can anyone help me? My story is a long and complicated one, but will shorten it the best way that I can. Back in October ofI discovered some info about my spouse that I was being cheated on, which is what led to the mess I am about to talk about. During our time together up until marriage and then divorce, we took care of my son, from a previous relationship, from the first day he was born.

The biological father came to the hospital to sign the birth certificate and only seen the child for the first 3 months after birth, then disappeared. I had tried to contact him through phone calls, only to find the number disconnected. So I reached out through facebook messaging where it would only show he read my messages but would never reply.

This went on for a solid year and a half. I had left my job previous to discovering I was pregnant and stayed on prenatal care. Which I did not go back to work so I could care for my son due to limitations. Anywho, getting off topic, child support attempted to reach out multiple times without response, letters were being returned, had an order for DNA testing and guess what? Could not establish anything. So I sold everything I had to make money to get by until I could find a job.

During this time I was having issues with the spouse, like mentioned before. My mother informed me that my spouse was abusive to my son. No one had any proof of anything, not to mention I was working when it was supposedly witnessed.

Prior to filing for divorce, I contacted the father back in regards to seeing his son and also expressing the issue at hand. Wanting to remove my son from the line of fire and away from any potential harm to be safe. I also had to save up money to file for my divorce due to not having the finances. I also explained this to the father. He understood and we had a verbal agreement on the matter. My son would visit for a few hours a day at first because he had not clue who his father was.

So we started out slow and worked up to weekends. The father wanted more time with him, so I worked it up to a week at a time. Then after ChristmasI began a new job in Januaryworking full time and 3pm-midnight with only 2 days off. I tried my hardest to see my son when I was off work and sometimes my mother would have him with her at her house. My schedule stayed hectic for about 3 months, then it changed and I could see my son at reasonable hours with consecutive days off.

My mother was getting my son every other weekend prior to my new schedule. Then visitation gradually went up to where my mother would have my son for a whole week every other week beginning in may and we would switch off during those times on my days off.

Everything was working out great, I was getting on my feet with my new job and residence, I had gotten my divorce shortly after. I remarried 4 months later, October My son absolutely loves my husband and even calls him dad for some reason. I had seen my son last at the end of Septemberbut when my mother went to get my son, the father refused to let either one of us have my son back. Did not have a court order and neither parent has custody granted.

Now we are about to go through a court battle where his petition states I am unstable and I live with my ex spouse, who was supposedly abusing my son. Everything stated was false information. I am just wondering, do they sort through the lies to determine everything? Or do they grant based off of falsified information. I have a stable job, income, car, drivers license, house, married, etc.

He has no car, no license, no job, and not married. He receives a disability check and VA benefits. He also just got a house a few months back where he pays rent. I am currently going through a divorce and my husband, who still lives in the house, is going off every weekend and leaving his kids behind so he can be with his girlfriend and her kids.

When he is home during the week, he spends all of his time at the gym and then on the computer and texting her.

I have begged him to stay home at least every other weekend and spend time with his kids. I applaud you gentlemen here who want to be with your children.

apologise, but, opinion

Good luck with your battles and I hope you win them. Im a man and im fightingyes cause inhave 2 daughters thst dont need to see there mother jumping from one man to another.

She has also had dcf report with neglect,abuse and endangerment. I have had my daughters fulltime for the past 2 years and in that 2 years she didnt call or get gifts for birthdays or christmas. She goes months without calling or seeing them. My youngest fell out of a second story apartment window under her care when she was 2yrs old and did nothing.

My oldest is 5 and she has rage toward ger mother and doesnt want to see her or talk to her most days. Tomorrow will be the first time they have seen there mother since thanksgiving and its not cause of me keeping them from her. She would have to actually call them first im currently going through my divorce with her and i feel thr only reason she is even calling which she is still failing to call at the time we have agreed toisnall for show causeshe had not spoke to them or seen them since november its now april is cause she got surved witj divorce papers otherwise she would more than likely still have not called.

I am umable to afford a lawyer while she jas another new boyfriend whos paying for hers while she doesnt worki am currently om a waiting list for daycare voucher from the state of florida sono can go get a meaningless job since i am unable to do what i went to school forim a commercial diver in Jacksonville fl and in the gulf of mexico.

I walked away from my career and a hope for my children to be able to go tongood colleges and o had to walk away and become a fulltime dad. I was recentlt living down 3hrs south of Jacksonville and moved back up to Jacksonville to find her and my parents live here so thesupport has been amazing.

They only alloe me to stay in there home while i take care of my divorce for free since i have been cancelled by the state for ebt assistance and daycare. After that, the pace at which your current cell manages to lose mass turns into too excellent and outpaces your grazing gains. I love my wife and kids very much. She left cause had feelings for another man.

But now I. The bad person in her eyes even thought the first 6 weeks my daughter slept in a floor with 8 people in the house instead of the bed shes been I. The last 8 hears.

Now all of a sudden im not good enoght to do that. All I want is shared with my sweet 8 year old girl who I might add is taking all this very well and loves every second were together. Scared to death dad in ohio. You should probably leave that stuff to your wife and her ex. Exes tend to be very hostile towards new husbands.

There definitely needs to be reform in the court system. Men really have no rights. My oldest son is going to be next year. We alternated weeks for a month. Then we got into an argument about money.

Dating a man going through custody battle - Rich woman looking for older man & younger woman. I'm laid back and get along with everyone. Looking for an old soul like myself. I'm a man. My interests include staying up late and taking naps. Find a woman in my area! Free to join to find a woman and meet a woman online who is single and seek you. Sep 12,   A child custody battle may very well be one of the most stressful experiences a parent can endure, especially when you don't know what to expect. Even if you're not the one making it a "battle," you have to go into court with a solid plan of action to prove your Debrina Washington. Dating a man going through a divorce and custody battle. If it hadn't been with you, it certainly would have been with someone else. It is obvious that he kept the lines of communication open with her and even made attempts to rectify this situation with professional counseling. Dating a man going through a divorce- Need Help please.

I had a decent job she moved in with her parents. So every Sunday when we met to exchange I took them and got everything he needed for the week and filled her car up with gas and away I went.

After the argument she accused me of being a bulky and being afraid of me. Denied contact with my son, said I needed supervised visits for 2 months. So during that time I drove down a couple of times to see him. But when this happened the money stopped flowing. It became hard on her so she let me have weekend visitations. I have taken care of him since he was 20 months old. Got him caught up on his vaccinations. Provided medical insurance. She of course got every other weekends and alternating holidays and such.

Last year she got in trouble with drugs was in jail and rehab. Let her parents take him while she was incarcerated. There is a lot more to this woman and the many boyfriends and partying she has done. What a friggin joke. Torn solo mum. My ex and I broke up 2 years ago. My daughter to another man was 6 months old.

The relationship was violent and abusive. I fell pregnant and a son to him, he did nothing to care or raise him either. The relationship became a lot worse and I moved away when he was 5 months old. He still had little to do with them but i felt would use access to them as a gateway to continue control and abuse. When I got him trespassed he filled for week about.

I applied for a protection order after he assaulted me at one of the change overs. I allow him every 2nd weekend supervised and he has remained consistent for over a year, but he is now fighting for guardianship of my daughter which I refuse because of his abusive and aggressive nature.

I was concerned with things my daughter had been telling me and have now stopped all access to her but he continues to see his son. I want to keep him away from her but am caught between knowing if I am making the right decision or not.

She does not know her real dad, he is the only father figure she knows but I feel he is not a good influence on her. He was very verbally and emotionally abusive towards me and I fare he is the same towards me. Have I made the right choice?! Any advice appreciated. Is there anything I can do? I am a mother of a 2 year old that her dad has had her since march and we was never married but forced me to leave. My ex has actually put his hands on my I have bruises and a broken finger and a dented car.

He has starved my son in the past. I have currently filed for custody. I am going to first step woman abuse. I am scared an having anxiety. Someone please give me advice. My ex and I have been together for 12 years. Almost 6 months ago she was forced into treatment for drug abuse!

It was a pattern, like every two or three months she would start an argument so I would either tell her to leave or to the point where I get angry enough and she will play damsel in distress. She was signed into treatment when she took off the last time. While in treatment we agreed to make our relationship work.

So for 4 months we were getting along great until she come home. She had 13 selfies with some guy she used to run around with 3 years ago, 2 of the pictures this guy was kissing her cheek.

I confronted her and she exclaimed it was nothing and to. Then the. Then I. So this went on for a couple weeks and the day before she graduated she tried to break up with me. We were waiting for. The day she graduated she took off with another guy from the treatment center. There is a lot of animosity I.

I know for a fact that she. I stayed faithful to my ex during the. She was. So now I filed a petition for. She used actions I. And even. She never come. I called her and I. Since I. I was convinced we were doing well and behind the scenes she was still committing promiscuous behaviors. But now she is manipulating the courts, police, and her councilors by lying to them about what she tells me then.

My employer suggested I go to EAP, which is employee assistance program. They wanted me. I personaly think that courts favour the woman. I have seen things in civil and criminal court that back my opinion up but this is about parenting. The thing with me is that because I was not married I had some parental rights but not as much as my ex. I have been reading a lot of the comments made on this page.

The one thing you all must realize you are speaking with emotions and not facts. Something caused a relationship with children to ravel and even though we may not know all the details to some extent anyone can hear a sad story and relate somehow. Mothers are looked at as the nurturing parent, care takers and father the care givers and most times mother are both. This is my story, at 16 I met my soon to be x-husband who took advantage of my unconventional raring the good girl.

He cheated had kids all over the place. Never graduated high school or when to collage, lied about it all from the beginning even about his name OMG.

LolLater in life after realizing all the goals he so call had, which matched mine was not his goals at all. I joined the military at age 29 and has been trying to make a better life for me and my 3 children. I filed for a divorce and put him out of my house after I found out yet again that he has another kid with one of these nasty trash he picked up and no offense, but they are all white.

Well you all know this is not going to happen right, he has lost his mind My kids will break this cycle by me not allowing them to be part of what society has come to accept.

suggest you

All kinds of kids all over the place and children seeing that and only repeating what they see. He thinks calling and seeing the kids somehow is caring for them. If both parents gets up daily telling their kids I love you and care for you and none of them goes out and provide for them what would you think of those parents. I will talk more about this in my book.

My father n law just found out today that his ex wife decided to moe out of town and take their two children with her. She has already take them out of school and enrolled them in the town she is moving to.

My father n law is thinking about keeping them and putting them back her but we are afraid of any consequences he may suffer for doing this. Does anyone know what he could do? Hi I have a question if anyone can help me? Hitting the kid is unfortunately a different matter, as physical reprimands such as pops or spanking is seen as a normal way to discipline your child, even though studies show that it does more harm than good long term.

I have been denied my court ordered visitation for almost 3 years now by my ex wife. I have never been a bad father. I have been dealing with the pain of not having my children and had some issues with an ex girlfriend that had a drug problem that I knew nothing about.

After 1 year of not being able to get my children on my weekend, I gave up. My now current wife pulled me out of a bad situation, helped me save some money, found a reasonable law firm for fathers, and looked up all the information for court, helped me fill out documents, collected my evidence, and get back on track with my child support. One day I was in town running some errands and I saw my children in the Mcdonalds parking lot with their mother and some other guy.

So, I decided to go and see them, for it had been a long time coming with her not letting me have them on my weekends, and just as I come in to see my children and let them know I love them and give them a hug and kiss before I headed out, she saw me and ran to the bathroom and locked the door with my children crying on the inside.

She had told her boyfriend to tell the manager that I had threatened to put my hands on all of them and to call the cops. Keep in mind I had just walked in My children are crying and screaming that they want to come out to see me and she still entraps them in the bathroom with herself. The manager called the police and I ended up getting banned from there, just because she lied to keep me away from my children.

When I got there my ex wife was there with her youngest child, that she was pregnant with, before our divorce was finalized, and I got out of the truck my ex wife went across the street to the warehouse so I got back in the truck and headed across the street.

I wait outside at her car to see my daughter, again just to hug her and tell her I love her. When I got there and got out of my truck, I heard my daughter ask my ex wife if I was her daddy. I felt like I was dying. The owner, whom my wife knows personally, said she heard and seen everything and it broke her heart. On another occasion, my wife and I were coming out of Walmart and she saw my ex wife, her youngest child, and my two kids coming inside, so I walked up to the, my wife heading to the truck to give me some time with my kids, and I finally got to hug and kiss my babies and tell them I loved them.

Tears were coming up and there was a lump in my throat. I asked them everything I could in one short night and kept talking to them for 1 week, then I found out it was all about money again. I tried to plan trips and every time she would find a way to refuse later. I asked her over the phone one night if I could take my children to the movies to see the new Spongebob Movie out of water, my kids loved spongebob, and she told me only on one condition, that she could go too.

I told her she could and that my wife would be attending us, that way my ex wife could meet her, so that she would know who the children would be around. My ex wife said okay and the next day she canceled. It all ended that way. She told me that she needed some time and that is all she was time. It has been 2 years. I told her if that was her final say and she said yes, so I told her I would be filing contempt. Then she said that if I could afford that, then I needed to pa her the dollars in backed child support, which I had already settled with DCSS and am making monthly payments along with regular child support.

I just need to know if it is legal in the state of Georgia to mention child support in a custody and visitation hearing, because Child support and Child custody and visitation are two separate matters in the state of Georgia. And will they see that my ex wife is not keeping the best interest of my children in mind.

Thanks so much. What about when its the Mother doing all these things, when the father was the primary caretaker of their children for 5 years, at which time the Father left the Mother, because of emotional, and psychological abuse, she was cheating on him, with his best friend, constantly threatened him, went through his things, accessed his electronic accounts, and demanded he do everything in the house, while she sat on Facebook flirty with guys, after leaving, she violates custody orders, alienates the kids no.

The state refuses to acknowledge the developmental damages surrounding this form of abuse, its not even recognized by this mans therapist, how does he substantiate the claims against her without being seen as the guilty one? I am a father who fought like hell to get my daughter in a broken court system. Mother accused me of everything under the sun, including twice of sexual contact with my daughter. Which was proven untrue both times!

Mother habitually lies, blows thing outs of proportion, sleeps around, lives with mommy and daddy at age Scams off guys till they find out what she is really about. She somehow finds the money to pay to take me back to court all the time but yet cant support her own daughter. Now she claims cause she has more time because she does not work, she is the better parent and wants placement and LOL child support. Her daughter is nothing more than an object and represents a paycheck. I do not have a problem taking care of my obligations even without mothers help.

What I cannot stand is the fact I have to constantly spend money for attorneys that take away my ability to take care of her better. Quite honestly I do not even want her child support money I would be just as happy to tell her to set it up in an account for college needs.

With all I have to spend in court how can I ever help my daughter out later in life for college? I cant do anything now let alone save for that too. I am so fed up with the courts allowing it and the laws that are on the books. They are archaic at best and need to be rewritten fairly.

Child support needs to go to a check and balance system too. Whoever mentioned money hit the nail on the head! Money seems to be the root of all evil when it comes to many circumstances in life. It made my stomach turn knowing how ugh power he had over our kids. Still brings tears to my eyes remembering the situation to write it out here. After all why would our lawyers promise an easy out for both parties when their wallets are fattening by the hour?!

ANY woman work like this too sadly. Why you ask? All of the holidays he has this year, I get next year. I even covered things such as claiming the children come tax time.

pity, that

Think a judge wont sign off on something like that? I could have taken my ex to the cleaners after he basically kidnapped our children for that two months, but my best interest was getting our kids back on track. Our son is now 7 and still suffers some emotional attachment issues, but has gotten A LOT better.

I can leave to go places and he is not chasing me out the door eyes filled with tears anymore.

Dating a man going through a divorce and custody battle

He finally understands mom is not leaving him for good. So you see people it can go both ways. Parents be mindful of your children. It is not our job to teach them to hate. A lawyers job is to make even the worst parent look like the best parent. Yes the one I wrote up, he tried to bank cash on lol. So you see parents you are dealing with a broken system that is not set up for the best interest of your children, it is your job to fight for that.

They are our children. Wish you all the best of luck. If anyone should want my help please contact me. OK, so, im in the middle of a modification, which was illegally pulled from our home state with UCCJEA jurisdiction and moved to MA by a sneaky TRO and emergency orders for custody, which where dismissed, but, the ex just kept going.

Today: I found my ex has his house for sale, and has reduced the price, he is a motivated seller, the pictures are new online, and the house is empty.

I cannot get a hold of my kids help? First off my nightmare of an ex ran up almost 20, in loans and credit card debt in the 6 months she was gone before we were able to get into court. But we have a modified joint parent agreement, which as you all know pretty much means she has sole custody.

She has repeatedly made false accusations against me, and has tried to physically attack my current fiancee during a custody exchange.

Her latest stunt was waiting until I have planned and booked out vacation to Disney world this summer, then she booked the exact same vacation the week before I did. Just to further complicate things. I feel like a child having to repeatedly contact my lawyer and make a joint journal about this crap.

Sole custody for 1 year. I have done everything i can for him, sing, read and tuck him in nightly. His mother is in and out of his life sometimes going months without contact. As soon as there is a warrant out for an arrest her attitude changes. I have volunteered a hair sample which she refused to provide one as she has a drug addiction.

Is this wrong or am I just being crazy? I can handle the truth. This is because of maternal instinct, and just overall motherly love. With that said, nowadays the greater majority of courts want equal custody between parents. For the fathers who are saying the courts are against, lies. If there is NO court order, or you are in jail, there is no reason for you not to see your child.

congratulate, you were

Call the police for a custody violation, then file an emergency ex-parte to inform the judge of the violation. Guess what? Ask them for their honest opinion about your chances of winning a custody battle in court. Dial down the drama.

When parents fight, children suffer. Try not to fight with their other parent in front of them. Dragging your kids into the courtroom will not help your cause. It will just make the judge question your judgment and your motives. Do your best to be objective. Is the custody that you are fighting for whether that is joint custody or sole custody really going to be best for your kids?

Is there any way you can compromise without putting your children in the middle of a war? Be brutally honest with yourself. Why are you fighting? Your kids will be better off being exposed to two different parenting styles than they will be in getting dragged through the court system by parents who hate each other. If you are going to fight, do it for the right reasons. Protecting your kids from an abusive parent is a good reason to engage in a custody battle.

Fighting about custody to gain leverage over your spouse in the money issues of your divorce is not. Fighting for the right reason requires you to take the time to understand what your reason for fighting really is. Dig deep and, again, be honest. While having an affair might have been an exhibition of questionable personal judgment and morals! Are you trying to keep your kids away from your ex because it is truly best for them, or because you are angry and hurt?

Control Yourself. While you are going through a custody battle, you will be living your life under a microscope. Everything you do can potentially make a difference in your case. Tempted to dash off a blistering text message to your spouse when you are mad?

The last thing you want is for angry texts you sent to your spouse to show up as evidence in your custody trial.

The same is true for email rants, or even bad behavior that others witness. You also need to stay off social media. Even if you have your privacy settings cranked to the sky, anything you post on social media can potentially be seen by everyone - including your spouse.

Support your kids. No matter what is going on in court, you have an obligation to support your children. Full stop. The fact that your spouse is acting like a jerk and sabotaging your time with your kids is irrelevant.

Your kids have to eat. They need a roof over their head and clothes on their back. That means you need to support them. The bottom line is that these are your kids. Support them. These Co Parenting Apps can help. If you want your children to grow up happy and healthy, they need to have a relationship with both of their parents. Again, one of the factors that courts consider in custody battles is whether both parents are encouraging the kids to have a relationship with their other parent.

Facilitating that relationship will not only be good for your kids, but it will be good for you in court, too. Make every decision with the kids in mind. If you want to have a chance of getting custody of your kids, you have to demonstrate to the court that you are willing to do whatever is best for them - even if it is not best for you.

Thinking of getting a new job, or a second job, to bring in more money and get you back on your feet? If working more will require you to travel, or will take away any of the time you spend with your kids, then changing jobs, or getting another job, might not make sense at least not right now. Accusing your spouse of being abusive might seem to be the perfect way to get your spouse away from the kids.

But, if you exaggerated or, worse, made up! False allegations of abuse will make the judge question your credibility on every other issue. If that judge thinks it is morally wrong for you to move in with a new lover while you are still married to your spouse, you are going to be toast in court. It makes it look like you are more concerned about your own happiness, than the well-being of your children.

It can undermine your ability to work with your spouse as a parent. It can also seriously screw up your custody case. Put your best foot forward with everyone in the court system. All of these people have the ability to affect when and how much you see your kids.

They can influence whether you will have the right to make parental decisions for your children going forward. Do not get on their bad side! Alienating any of them can come back and bite you later. Remember, you get more flies with honey than with vinegar.

Meet their teachers. Take them to the doctor. Attend their sporting events and extra-curricular activities. Volunteer to drive in their carpool before or after school if you can. Document Everything. If you want a judge to believe what you say, you need to be able to prove your allegations in court. Document when and why you switch parenting time with your ex. Keep track of who has the kids on what holiday.

Get a calendar. Write down everything you do with your kids. Write down everything you spend on your kids. If writing on a paper calendar is too old school for you, try an online parenting program. There are plenty of online parenting tools that can help you keep track of the time and money you spend on your kids. No matter what happens in court, never give up on your kids. Use every minute of your parenting time. Stay involved in their lives. Keep putting your kids first in every way.

Maintaining a relationship with your kids is what matters the most. Step up and show up for your kids. But you can still fight about who has the right to make decisions for your kids, where they will live, and when you and your spouse will see them. The words are different. The fight, unfortunately, is substantially the same. Karen Covy, J. She is committed to helping those who are facing divorce get through the process with the least amount of conflict, cost and collateral damage possible.

Hey karen I fell in love with another guy and I do not love my hubby anymore. I did not mean for this to happen but I want to be with this other guy more. I lost weight and my hubby and me fight all the time and I starting talking to this other guy and I file but my hubby does not know yet I tried to be with my hubby there is nothing there,anymore. It sounds like you are in love with the other guy, but be careful!

Relationships that start when one person or both are cheating often end badly. Do I have to send his lawyer my finances even if it was sent by service or do I only respond to court documents that come in the mail?

opinion, this

You might want to try finding a pro bono lawyer in your area. Look for a legal aid office near you. Check out any law schools in your area. Sometimes they have free legal clinics staffed by students but supervised by teachers. Call any bar associations in your area. Finally, ask the judge for help. Many judges maintain a list of free lawyers who can help people in need.

It may also be possible to get your husband to pay for your lawyer. That depends on the law in your state, as well as other things. You might also be able to pay a lawyer just to explain the court process to you and maybe to write a motion on your behalf.

Again, though, that depends on the lawyers and the law in your area. I know someone that needs it. It is good advise for whose love they child than anythings else in the whole world and this is a good site for divorce peoples. My son took his ex to court for custody in September Porno of her preforming sex acts on herself on the 13 and 9 year olds tablet.

She married a man the kids met a week before court. That she met at the suboxin clinic. They stay in bed drugged up. The kids fend for themselves. The lawyer says we are doing the best and if we call child protective service or file harassment charges it will make things worse. What do you do? Our court system here is a complete joke. Waiting for a judge can be frustrating. If it was, that was definitely a long time ago! There are a lot of steps that you have to go through before trial.

And getting a trial date often takes time. The court system works slowly! At this point, your son might want to consult with another lawyer and see if he has any other options for pushing this forward. So you may be better off just being patient. I know. I had no idea something that allowed me to do daily things recorded so much about my life. Now I have to turn everything over to a person who abused me and my kids and stalked me for years.

We were never married, but we had kids together. This is crazy. What is even more crazy is I have been told to let this person have unsupervised visits with my kids and already during two consecutive visits this person physically abused my kids.

When I asked about reporting, I was told not to because it would look bad to the court. How is this right. How can people standby. How can people be okay with this. We put humans as judges because they are supposed to be humane. You might also want to work with a local domestic violence organization in your area.

They can be a tremendous resource for you. I sure learned my lesson good. Never again will I search for love in a woman! Only if I could have known then the manifold ways of the Hellion. I thank God for having mercy on me and my children. Been going through drama with both my baby mamas over wanting to be there for my kids and give them a better life. It sounds like it might be time for you to get a lawyer and go to court. My ex husband left me when he was caught having an affair while I was pregnant with our second child.

This was 9 years ago. I have had custodial rights and I am primary to our 2 children for the last 9 years. Shortly after divorce I had to take him to court for lack of paying child support. He now pays CS after garnishing wages and has paid for years. When my oldest daughter became 12 he filed for primary custody claiming she and her brother want to live with him now.

Prior to him filing for primary custody I had cut him off from text a voice communication due to aggressive, profane and absolute obsessive control with texts ranging in the teens daily. Only email correspondence. I have record of these texts and email for the last 9 years printed.

I am a teacher of 17 years and I truly do everything for these children. Real things that take grounding or reduction in thing they ,like such as videogames or cellphone.

Reader Interactions

He also has her text me while she is in his possession since he cannot any longer. He has now, as mentioned, taking me to court for primary custody and filed me to eventually pay him CS on my teachers salary where he makes more than double I earn. He has also recently filed motion to the court for an Amicus and for it to be paid They basically rubber stamped it without any debate. I feel I have no other option than to fight though money is tight to say the least.

Example: My son has chronic ear infections and tubes multiple times. While on summer vacation this year my son came back home to my house after 10 days with his father on vacation with puss running out of his ear due to lack of care.

This is just one occasion. Again alienation. So I know he will not compromise about time to get out of this custody case, this is about the CS he pays. And now since he married the woman he had an affair with and they have 2 kids he needs that CS he pays me to support his lifestyle.

I need advice. Im not sure if there is any though. In any event, it may sound crazy and far-fetched, but you might want to consider mediation. Settling your case is the only way you can end this battle without going to court. Can it be settled? But I do know that the only way to find out is to try. Erin, I am in a very similar situation as you except that I am a father. I am curious how your case is going because mine is dragging out and it is wearing me out emotionally and financially.

Hi Karen, My fiance and myself recently split. We had a very toxic relationship not only for ourselves but very toxic for our child. When i left our home i took our daughter with me, the very next day i filed for custody and had him served. There were times he asked to see her and i complied every time and met with him for visitation.

One day we met for visitation and he bad me served with a restraining order saying that i cant be around my daughter nor him. While we were together i was a stay at home mom. So now that we have split i have no money for an attorny. I have called everyone i can possibly call and done everything i can do. No one can help me. And i am stuck! Our hearing is in a few days and i really need your advice.! I really need my baby girl back.!! Thank you Samantha.

Law schools often have free or low-cost legal clinics. Or, if you have anywhere you can borrow money from so you can get an attorney. If all else fails, when you go to court you can ask the judge for time to get an attorney.

Many judges keep lists of local attorneys who will work for small money or no money. You can ask for that list. Know, though, that if you ask for an extension of time to get a lawyer that means that the current restraining order will likely stay in effect at least until the next hearing date. But if you go through with the hearing and lose, the restraining order may stay in effect for much longer than that.

You should be able to go to court with a well prepared case to defend yourself and also bring up anything you have against your ex. This is all assuming you have a good record and do not actually deserve the restraining order. She was too scared to show up to court so the TOP was dropped. My sons dad and I were never married and he was born in I got married July and in September I found meth and steroids in our home.

My sons dad filed papers on me June stating I was unfit. I have been dating a man for 15 months and we got engaged 3 months ago. He is stable, has full custody of his son, and has never been in trouble. We are wanting to get married and my attorney is telling me that living with my parents until this is over is a more stable environment for my son. Our kids get along, we get along, and have had a few disagreements that were handled without any arguments.

What do do believe is best for my son? What YOU believe is best for your son, and what the court believes is best for your son, does matter. Just remember, you hired an attorney for a reason. If your attorney is telling you that living with your parents until the court battle is over will provide a more stable environment for your son, then listening to your attorney makes sense. Hey Karen. Thanks for the tips. My sons dad and I were never married.

so? can

HE told me he was 28 and we had a casual relationship before I became pregnant. He had a restraining order on his ex girlfriend before me and made her out to seem completely crazy. And I truly thought she was.

I also found out he was really 38 13years older than me. He would also constantly obsess about other women and compare me to them. Months went by, I had our son and my ex was going out often and dealing marijuana. Last September, I was breastfeeding my then 2 month old son in my underwear when we got into an argument and he whipped out his phone and started video recording me. This toxic relationship carried on a few more months.

I checked myself into a psych ward for 2 days because I felt like I was losing my mind. A day after I got out, we got into another fight and he had me arrested and kicked me out on a TRO without a job, home or support system. I filed for custody a few months later after he repeatedly violated his order and made several attempts to entrap me.

I sent nasty messages to some of his friends at the start of this year because I was deeply hurt by their affairs with him. I have an eccentric personality though and tend to lash out in four letter words which is the only thing that speaks against my character. I passed a court ordered hair follicle test. HE never showed up to his interview with the mediator but she still recommended joint custody.

I have no intention of ever wanting anything to do with my ex because of his manipulation tactics. I want him in my sons life with limited contact until he can seek treatment for himself. What are my odds of winning this case? Thank you. The outcome of your case depends on far too many things ALL the facts, the law in your state, your judge, your lawyer and much more!

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  1. Kazitaxe

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  2. Tujora

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